A Lasting Impression.......

I was wondering about the success of on-line dating and I discovered that many people fail to make a good impression or may not possess the skills needed to attract a good mate. Therefore, I started researching articles on ways to effectively approach the idea of on-line dating. I ran across an article in Essence magazine that describes ways to make a lasting impression. The title of the article was Love at First Site. The article presented four ways to make your personal data datable. This will prevent you from being lost in the pool of on-line dating sites and becoming frustrated.

1. Post a winning Photo-instead of a professional shot; try a more laid-back look. You will want to look like the person that will be coming through the door at the date. Take your picture in a comfortable setting, such as a family reunion, in your yard, or at a backyard barbecue.

2. Write an impressive profile-A profile should be like a great movie trailer-just enough given to make you want to buy tickets to the show. Once you have captured his or her interest deliver a description that sets you apart from the competition. Be specific. Many people have talents but name your best.

3. Save the drama-Check your baggage before logging on. When you describe your dream guy or girl, do not request qualities, such as monogamy and honesty. It shows that you have unresolved pain from your past, which is a turn-off. Not only will that drive away good mates, the bad guys or girls will see you as an easy mark.

4. Take Charge-Men and women are flattered when you make the first move. If a man or woman catches your attention, shoot them a polite email. Leave an impression by mentioning some traits you have in common.

I hope that these tips are helpful in attracting mates that are interested in romance while trying to date on-line. I did not want to leave before giving you an update on Lamaris. Things are going okay but I have begun to lose interest in the long distance thing. He is very romantic and attentive but only through telephonic contacts. I was suppose to go and visit this weekend but the trip was just too expensive. In the meantime, I try to keep myself busy instead of indulging in unproductive activities. I am trying to give this romance and faithfulness phenomenon a try. To promote my self-esteem, I have decided to make a dramatic change such as a new haircut or a complete make over. I feel if I am in the market, I may as well attract all the fishes. Flirting is good for the soul. Well until next time…….have a good week.

Bitter or Sweet.....

Even though I have been bit by the confusion bug I still consider myself as being informed and wise. These are words that I use to describe interesting and pertinent people. Over the past several weeks, I have been living out an exciting dream that I never thought would be possible. When you have some kind of joy in your life, it seems as if everyone is trying to rain on your parade. Everyone has an opinion but as my grandma use to say, opinions are like butholes and everyone has one. Combine this with simple addition and nosy girl friends and you have hit the trifecta. Apparently, my cyber issue has been leaked to my friends by someone. It had to be someone from this class but as with any other second hand information, you will never find out. I find it amusing that nobodies always find time to talk about some bodies. When I heard about it, I immediately shared my concerns with Lamaris. He always seems to understand where I am coming from, and knows just what to say. I was a little confused to why my business is someone else's concern. People always surprise me with the things that they do. Often, I really get perplexed over the silliness that we as adults still participate in daily. Things that are so minimal are completely stretched and blowed out of proportion. When my friend told me about it, I felt a little shocked and then shock turned to humor. She would not tell me who said it, which immediately got me on the defense. I wonder sometimes why people just cannot bask in your joy and just be happy for you. Even if this relationship does not work out, I will be satisfied with the taste it leaves in my mouth whether bitter or sweet.

Mirage or Epiphany

The last time we spoke, I was weighing out this long distance concept and trying to make sense of the entire situation. Nothing has change surprisingly except that after mentioning my reservations, he has really step up to the plate. I was at work this week and having a real bad day. Every thing was piling down on me and I felt like quitting. Feeling like this is an anomaly and rarely happens. Nevertheless, when it does I feel like the weight of the world is on my shoulders. It is hard trying to balance motherhood, school, and work and keeping sane all in one hat. I do it though and it takes very hard work. That is one of the things I like about myself is my perseverance. Let us not get unfocused today...I was sitting at my desk pondering my life and decided to pick up the phone to call Lamaris. Of course, he answers the phone on the first ring, which always makes me blush. I proceed to tell him all the gory details of my day and Of course, he just listens intently. He never utters a word until I am through making a fool of myself. After I'm done he says" Now do you feel better" and I reply no. After I hang up with him, I am a little more furious then before. How can he not understand and try to comfort me? Well why I am sitting there fuming, I get an email. Of course, its one of the most erotic poems I have ever heard. Of course, it is personalized with my name. Now my anger has melted and other more personal emotions evolved. I was meaning to thank him but I had to go into a meeting. While in my meeting, someone delivers something in the front but I cannot see what it is. After my meeting, I see the most gorgeous bunch of wild flowers that I have ever seen. Besides that, I notice that they were delivered from Zimilich Florist. Therefore, the secretary, very meanly and with added jealousy, I might add says, “they are for you”. I excitedly grab the card and who are they from...Well of course Lamaris. I am so overwhelmed with joy. I immediately called him and mush over what happened. After I get off work though, my excitement starts to fade a little. This is because I know when I get home Lamaris will not be there. My computer, cell phone or another cute text message but no warm body to put with it. I understand your concept but I must face reality and ask myself seriously, is this feeling a mirage or is my relationship just an epiphany...?

A new beginning or a beginning to the end?

Funny thing is how you can feel one way, one day, and then the next week or so something can alter or change your entire view. It is incredible how people are easily influenced and then when something terrible happens we take flight. Is it possible to maintain a successful long distance relationship? This is a question that I am posing to you and I hope to garner some interesting responses. When I embarked on this little experiment, I thought hands down that I would be able to prove my theory correct. I was thrown a loop when Lamaris responded to my email. Lamaris is everything that I had been looking for in a partner. Lamaris is intelligent, good looking, optimistic, a motivator and gainfully employed (LOL). I thought well I definitely am lucky to have something as wonderful as this just fall in my lap. This dream was true until we met. After meeting, it became a double edge sword. I hopelessly thought that this meeting combined with our daily contacts would solve all of my problems. I said to myself, you can handle this. This can work. Ironically, the lonely days and nights are becoming longer. The long phone calls and multiple emails are becoming mundane and repetitive. At night, I wake up and call him just to make sure that he answers the phone. This in some pathetic way feels like a little rainbow of security. Last night, I woke up with a bad dream and sadly, there were no arms to hold me close. I am now stuck with the question of whether I am really attracted to him or just the distance? Is the distance playing tricks with my mind? Is this a new beginning or a beginning to the end?