Monday, November 3, 2008
Fairytale or Reality
It has been over a week since we last talk about this romance thing. I was watching pretty women the other day and I had a sudden feeling of euphoria that just made me glow all over. You know the one where the woman dreams about a prince and magically the prince appears. Every time I watch pretty woman I dream of what it would be like to be swept of my feet and lived happily ever after. It always makes me cry when Richard Gere climbs that skyscraper. I think my chest swells a little bigger and I feel all warm inside. Funny how watching a fairy tale can make you view your own situation. Right now, I have not communicated with Lamaris in three days. I was a little upset but surprisingly not to the point of it affecting my life. One of my clients made the statement the other day that it is what it is.... I did not understand that until today. In your life, everyone dreams of that perfect person that will sweep you off your feet but in reality that is just a fairy tale that may or may not come true. Everything in life is ultimately under your control and up to you. If you are willing to put effort into something then you will reap the rewards. A relationship whether on-line or not is sort of like watching a flower bloom, if you water it and nurture it then it will grow. If you neglect it then it will die. I purposely have not communicated with Lamaris because in reality I am just tired of the extra effort on my part. With schoolwork, employment, children and the other daily life stressors there is no room in my life right now for cyber or any other type of romance. I have not expressed my thoughts to him because in actuality I am waiting on him to break it off with me. Just rehearsing that statement did not evoke a reaction. I thought that it would be fun to experiment with cyber dating but right now, I am not so sure. Strange how everyday your life and views change...one day you are this way and the next day you are that way...
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5 comments:
You definitely hit home with your blog this week. Life is not a fairytale. Parts of our life or maybe some of our experiences are fairytale like but as a whole not a fairytale. Not just in romance but it all aspects of life. I have been guilty on many occasions thinking the grass is greener on the other side when in reality that person or situation I envy is probably saying the same about me or someone else. This is a matter of acceptance of ones life and where you are at in life. I am a little older than you, I am not saying wiser but maybe a little more aware. There are many aspects of my life that I have attempted to change in the past to only realize I had it good the way it was. Sometimes it is when we accept life as it is that it actually does become fairytale like. We get so caught up in the what if we forget the what is. The what is is usually just as good or better than the what if. I have learned that if I am true to myself than all else usually falls into place.
Both of you have reminded me of "reality". The reality is life's "many changes". It seems all of my friends, including my ex, are getting married or having children. I often find myself wondering about my "knight in shiny armor", will he ever come and rescue me? But in reality, he doesn't exist or if he does, he is looking for his "princess" to rescue him.
As I stated in one of my previous blogs, the guy who proposed to me more than once this year was married in September. He told me in February I lived in "la-la land", expecting too much from a man. I don't think I expect too much, I just know my worth. Besides, I like my "la-la land"-at least I'm happy!
Your blog and Tay's comments reminded me of Karpman's Drama Triangel - ok, not the blog but the idea of prince, knights, rescuers. There is a really good book that whenever i see i buy several copies because when I lend them to clients they never come back - it's A Knight in Rusty Armor - a short story about the pitfalls for men seeking out women to rescue them. Truth is, women don't need rescuing - they need companionship. Rescuers get tired easily and Tay, you don't strike me as someone needing rescuing either. Anyway, that's what bubble baths are for...now if you happen to have a man in that bubble bath, that's your business.
Relationships take work. I have been in one for five years. We have lived together for the majority of those years. So it is basically like we are married without the title as married. Of course I want to be married and have children, like all of my friends are doing. I am one my way to ending things if marriage is not in the foreseeable future. It is really discouraging when people are married that started dating after me, but oh well. It has been my experience that men take a longer time to grow up and mature. One of my uncles is a prince charming; he does the sweetest things for my aunt. Do men grow into prince charmings? Hopefully!!!
I believe everybody has issues. Some people choose to talk about it and some don't. So don't let them fool you. Relationships and marriage are not easy, but I believe it is what you make it.
I don't know if it is really the fairy tale aspect of that movie or just Richard Gere. He's hot for an old guy! Anyhow, I agree life is what you make of it. You can sit back and watch go by or get out there and enjoy it. What's that saying "when life throws you lemons, make lemonade." It's the same as what your client told you. You have to be active in your own life to get something out of it especiallywhen it comes to relationships. I think that is the hardest thing anyone can accomplish...establishing and sustaining a relationship. Relationships take a lot of work and you have to be willing to put in the time and effort to get something back. These days people are quick to move on when there is no instant reward.
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