Wednesday, September 10, 2008
Real Romance.....A myth
I love to debate frequently on this interesting topic. This is largely due to the increase of cyber sex sites and the decrease interest in doing things the good old-fashioned way. Remember when you receive that important phone call and they asked for that special date...it gave you butterflies and gave you a sense of being sought after. Now people are sitting behind their computers with web cams waiting on pornographic images and emails. In this cyber age, men and women are displaying their bodies, private parts and souls for all to view. They have endangered the the sanctity of romance and dating. Why get to know the cow when I can look, view, and ogle the milk...And if I am willing, I can meet up for dangerous group sex and risky sex encounters with no attachments and no commitment. I posed this question all of the time: why would they want to endanger their lives and take this risk? There are many people that engage in this behavior daily and have no qualms about their activities. They are adamant about displaying and enjoying their particular sexual proclivities with no shame. Whatever happened to you getting to know a person, establishing a relationship, dating exclusively and then jumping in...Well let me tell you...Flingles.net and other similar dating websites has become forums for prostitution, degradation, and dangerous sexual encounters...it has become a door for sexual perverts to indulge in their sick fantasies. Is romance in danger of becoming extinct? Where is Romance in this Cyber age...it is gone and forgotten.....
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12 comments:
There is no romance in cyberspace. It seems as if older adults are interested in doing what the younger generation is doing. The young generation use chatting, online dating, and myspace to get to meet and know people. Doing it the old fashioned way is outdated and cyberspace is more interesting. It's like why buy the car if you can't test drive it first. Young people today are into testing things out before they decide if they want it or not. Very few people find romance on cyberspace and get married. It's just too dangerous because you never know who you are chatting with. It could be a serial killer or someone that is a stalker. Cyberspace is full of prey that perverts are waiting to lure in to their ol dirty tricks. It make me think about the show that dateline airs about men trying to meet up with teenage girls for sex. That show help society learn and know about the perverts that linger on these internet sites waiting to get into mischievious acts with teenage girls. Some men engage in these acts because they never think that they would get caught.Time and time again the show airs and it's a new group of men everytime as if they don't watch T.V.
I agree with you 100%. Not only that but sexual crime rate is going up. This has been linked to people being over exposed to this problem and then becoming numb to the reality of everyday life. This is not also looking at the increase in HIV/Aids and Hep.C. the population that I work with it is estamated that 90% are Hep.C. positive. This is a huge number and most of it is due to risky sexual behavior. This is an issue that I feel that congress needs to address. I believe in free speach but the line needs to be drawns somewhere. Great topic.
I am glad that you chose this topic because it challenges all readers's to consider what category of "love" they fall into. Technology has somewhat invaded our society and has been used by some as a means of convenience: shopping online, chatting online, heck!!!! we are furthering our education online. However, some things are just not meant to be done online. On one hand, I am aware that some people date or meet people online because it "safe." They are free to be themselves without the other person intially seeing them and even if picture is requested, many have been known to send a bogus one. However, this "safe convenience" has proved to be more detrimental than productive. And of course, that is my opinion. For example, this same "safe" and "convenient" method has served as a channel for sexual predators and married individuals to engage in inappropriate behaviors. Ultimately, I would rather have the old standard of "courting." I personally like the old standards of dating which include the flowers, cards, and pursuit. But there again maybe im getting old. It all boils to down to what everything else boils down to. "You get what you pay for" or in this instance "what you settle for." I am not able to say that cyberspace lack romance because I have never had a desire to try it. However, I had no need to because my noncyber relationship has been able to sustain enough romance to last 4 years.
Wow...I played an online game (RPG) with my kids in the months after Katrina - we were traumatized and it gave us something to do together while we unwound from demolition. It wasn't WOW, it was a Neverwinter Nights persistent world, supposed to be story-driven, but it ended up being moron-driven. My character was female, 'cause, that's how I roll. My character got hit on IC and OC constantly. She was hot and fun and had an awesome sword. My sons were part of my team and got really sick of it. I was confused at first and it took on IRL form a few times, especially with one character who was a bard and very seductive,and a talented at rp. That was cool, at first. But then creepy, bc he didn't know how old I was or anything real about me. I could have been 12. After a few uncomfortable cyber stalking events, he claimed to have "had" my character - a paladin - and did so in front of Elron, no less. My character killed him. It was how she rolled.
I love this topic.I absoulutely agree with you.I am not with that computer love stuff.I would like to know as well, what happen to the courtship of two people? i guess it went to the chat lines on the computer.I am a hopeless romantic and I believe in the ole school dating as well. Great Job!!
People need to get back to reality and learn to interact and have intellectual conversations with the opposite sex in person, face to face, not through the computer screen and web cameras.
I think this is an excellent topic and one which I also plan to address in some capacity. I am particularly interested in the effects of the ‘Cyber Age’ on established relationships. It is no secret that the internet- since its inception- has led to the demise of numerous marriages and relationships. However, with the ever-growing popularity of social networking sites such as Myspace and Facebook, this is a trend which is likely to continue and worsen. In fact, I would love to know just how many break-ups of marriages and relationships could be directly attributed to those two websites alone. I guess this topic just hits close to home as my last relationship was greatly compromised by these two websites (I am not going to go into details now because I will undoubtedly discuss them when I address this topic in a future blog). I am not necessarily opposed to these websites, as I am admittedly a Myspace and Facebook addict (especially Myspace). But I would like to think if I were in a relationship, my actions on these websites would be mindful and respectful of my significant other.
I am so happy that you chose this topic and I completely agree with you. Of course there is no romance in cyberspace. To me one of the best parts of dating is when the guy calls you for a date and you are really nervous and get ready and wait around for him to come get you. I love sitting at dinner learning about each other. There is something to be said for face to face conversation with another person. I also enjoy the part where they walk you to the door and you have that awkard moment wondering if you guys are going to kiss good night and then wondering if he is going to call the next day. If that is what's considered old fashioned then I am perfectly content with being old fashioned. I think the main problem these days is that people want instant gratification. They do not want to work for a relationship, instead they want it right then and if they get unhappy later, they just start the process over with someone new. It is really very sad. Romance is an awesome thing and I think that cyberspace has certainly taken away from it.
Anonymous butter fly, I totally agree with you. I watch that show sometimes and you would think after all of the negative exposure that these pervs would learn their lesson but of course not. they continuaaly prey on underage teens and are equipped with the fantasy that they are not going to get caught...How stupid if you ask me...LOL
I believe in love. I don't think you can find love on line or in a club or at your cousin's wedding if that is your intent. I think love finds us. We need to be deliberate about is doing things that will make us worthy of love and hope that when it comes we are wise enough to recognize it.
I see a lot of women my age use the internet and meet someone. In the end they wind up trading sex and housekeeping for what they perceive is some financial security and maybe some companionship but there is no love.
I guess I will wait until I knock over some apples at the grocery store, reach to pick them up and bump heads with Mr. Right:-) Until then I will keep polishing who I am so that no matter what happens I will be as whole a person I can be so I know that whatever happens I will be able to handle it.
I agree with you on the absence of romance, especially in today's society. I still believe that romance exists. I still believe in the holding of hands, dinner and a movie, cuddling up in front of the television and long romantic walks on the beach. With all of the sexual predators surfing the net looking for unsuspecting victims, which may include your children or grandchildren, why would anyone still want to become involved with these cyberspace chatrooms, especially if you're looking for a mate. You hear and see the horror stories and negative publicity everyday on the news and in newspaper about molestations, rapes, assaults and even murders all because someone got involved with some of those on-line dating websites. Why risk the chance of putting your life in danger by subscribing to these online rooms of sexual fantasies. Keep romance alive by praying for your mate and when you find him or her, "court" them as we did in the "old skool" days.
I will give you credit and say that romance may be overated! I have been married since Noah was looking for lumber and I can not imagine doing the dating scene, cyber or conventional. In this age of instant information and the ability to communicate across the globe instantly, I feel as something has been lost. I can remember getting letters from my wife while deployed and I am glad we did not have internet. The love and romance I felt while reading these leters could have never havve been expressed via email. So much for progress!
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