It is better to be loved.....

Well my friends this is my last post and hopefully the most informative. It has been fun on our journey but all good things must end. I started researching the absence of romance and discovered a cyber relationship of my own. The cyber age is a catalyst for all beginning romances and your commitment to it is what wins the race in the final stretch. I won the race and I am excited to tell you all about it. Lamaris and I are doing great and things cannot get any better. I never imagine that a cyber romance could transform into something wonderful. Skepticism today is for folks that do not believe that even on a computer, love can blossom. It feels so rich, pure and uninhibited. Distance makes the reunion even sweeter and more exciting. Even though I cannot promise identical results, I can encourage you to seek romance no matter the outlet. Like in the movie, the Sum of Us, it is better to have loved then not to have been loved at all.

From one good friend to the other........

I watch an excellent movie the other day that dealt with some of the intricacies of young love and relationships. I could empathize with this movie on so many levels that I just thought that you would appreciate it too. It took me back to a time when there were such anomalies as real friends. You know the ones that we think we have, but when we compare them, then ours is entirely different. I always use to dream of friends that would follow you around the world to promote your happiness. The ones like Gayle and Oprah. The ones that start great but end up on the other side of weird. Sisterhood of the traveling pants took me back to insecure romances, budding friendships, college rivalries and obscure humor. I felt like I was there and I want to take you there also. Enjoy.....

Fairytale or Reality

It has been over a week since we last talk about this romance thing. I was watching pretty women the other day and I had a sudden feeling of euphoria that just made me glow all over. You know the one where the woman dreams about a prince and magically the prince appears. Every time I watch pretty woman I dream of what it would be like to be swept of my feet and lived happily ever after. It always makes me cry when Richard Gere climbs that skyscraper. I think my chest swells a little bigger and I feel all warm inside. Funny how watching a fairy tale can make you view your own situation. Right now, I have not communicated with Lamaris in three days. I was a little upset but surprisingly not to the point of it affecting my life. One of my clients made the statement the other day that it is what it is.... I did not understand that until today. In your life, everyone dreams of that perfect person that will sweep you off your feet but in reality that is just a fairy tale that may or may not come true. Everything in life is ultimately under your control and up to you. If you are willing to put effort into something then you will reap the rewards. A relationship whether on-line or not is sort of like watching a flower bloom, if you water it and nurture it then it will grow. If you neglect it then it will die. I purposely have not communicated with Lamaris because in reality I am just tired of the extra effort on my part. With schoolwork, employment, children and the other daily life stressors there is no room in my life right now for cyber or any other type of romance. I have not expressed my thoughts to him because in actuality I am waiting on him to break it off with me. Just rehearsing that statement did not evoke a reaction. I thought that it would be fun to experiment with cyber dating but right now, I am not so sure. Strange how everyday your life and views change...one day you are this way and the next day you are that way...

A Lasting Impression.......

I was wondering about the success of on-line dating and I discovered that many people fail to make a good impression or may not possess the skills needed to attract a good mate. Therefore, I started researching articles on ways to effectively approach the idea of on-line dating. I ran across an article in Essence magazine that describes ways to make a lasting impression. The title of the article was Love at First Site. The article presented four ways to make your personal data datable. This will prevent you from being lost in the pool of on-line dating sites and becoming frustrated.

1. Post a winning Photo-instead of a professional shot; try a more laid-back look. You will want to look like the person that will be coming through the door at the date. Take your picture in a comfortable setting, such as a family reunion, in your yard, or at a backyard barbecue.

2. Write an impressive profile-A profile should be like a great movie trailer-just enough given to make you want to buy tickets to the show. Once you have captured his or her interest deliver a description that sets you apart from the competition. Be specific. Many people have talents but name your best.

3. Save the drama-Check your baggage before logging on. When you describe your dream guy or girl, do not request qualities, such as monogamy and honesty. It shows that you have unresolved pain from your past, which is a turn-off. Not only will that drive away good mates, the bad guys or girls will see you as an easy mark.

4. Take Charge-Men and women are flattered when you make the first move. If a man or woman catches your attention, shoot them a polite email. Leave an impression by mentioning some traits you have in common.

I hope that these tips are helpful in attracting mates that are interested in romance while trying to date on-line. I did not want to leave before giving you an update on Lamaris. Things are going okay but I have begun to lose interest in the long distance thing. He is very romantic and attentive but only through telephonic contacts. I was suppose to go and visit this weekend but the trip was just too expensive. In the meantime, I try to keep myself busy instead of indulging in unproductive activities. I am trying to give this romance and faithfulness phenomenon a try. To promote my self-esteem, I have decided to make a dramatic change such as a new haircut or a complete make over. I feel if I am in the market, I may as well attract all the fishes. Flirting is good for the soul. Well until next time…….have a good week.

Bitter or Sweet.....

Even though I have been bit by the confusion bug I still consider myself as being informed and wise. These are words that I use to describe interesting and pertinent people. Over the past several weeks, I have been living out an exciting dream that I never thought would be possible. When you have some kind of joy in your life, it seems as if everyone is trying to rain on your parade. Everyone has an opinion but as my grandma use to say, opinions are like butholes and everyone has one. Combine this with simple addition and nosy girl friends and you have hit the trifecta. Apparently, my cyber issue has been leaked to my friends by someone. It had to be someone from this class but as with any other second hand information, you will never find out. I find it amusing that nobodies always find time to talk about some bodies. When I heard about it, I immediately shared my concerns with Lamaris. He always seems to understand where I am coming from, and knows just what to say. I was a little confused to why my business is someone else's concern. People always surprise me with the things that they do. Often, I really get perplexed over the silliness that we as adults still participate in daily. Things that are so minimal are completely stretched and blowed out of proportion. When my friend told me about it, I felt a little shocked and then shock turned to humor. She would not tell me who said it, which immediately got me on the defense. I wonder sometimes why people just cannot bask in your joy and just be happy for you. Even if this relationship does not work out, I will be satisfied with the taste it leaves in my mouth whether bitter or sweet.

Mirage or Epiphany

The last time we spoke, I was weighing out this long distance concept and trying to make sense of the entire situation. Nothing has change surprisingly except that after mentioning my reservations, he has really step up to the plate. I was at work this week and having a real bad day. Every thing was piling down on me and I felt like quitting. Feeling like this is an anomaly and rarely happens. Nevertheless, when it does I feel like the weight of the world is on my shoulders. It is hard trying to balance motherhood, school, and work and keeping sane all in one hat. I do it though and it takes very hard work. That is one of the things I like about myself is my perseverance. Let us not get unfocused today...I was sitting at my desk pondering my life and decided to pick up the phone to call Lamaris. Of course, he answers the phone on the first ring, which always makes me blush. I proceed to tell him all the gory details of my day and Of course, he just listens intently. He never utters a word until I am through making a fool of myself. After I'm done he says" Now do you feel better" and I reply no. After I hang up with him, I am a little more furious then before. How can he not understand and try to comfort me? Well why I am sitting there fuming, I get an email. Of course, its one of the most erotic poems I have ever heard. Of course, it is personalized with my name. Now my anger has melted and other more personal emotions evolved. I was meaning to thank him but I had to go into a meeting. While in my meeting, someone delivers something in the front but I cannot see what it is. After my meeting, I see the most gorgeous bunch of wild flowers that I have ever seen. Besides that, I notice that they were delivered from Zimilich Florist. Therefore, the secretary, very meanly and with added jealousy, I might add says, “they are for you”. I excitedly grab the card and who are they from...Well of course Lamaris. I am so overwhelmed with joy. I immediately called him and mush over what happened. After I get off work though, my excitement starts to fade a little. This is because I know when I get home Lamaris will not be there. My computer, cell phone or another cute text message but no warm body to put with it. I understand your concept but I must face reality and ask myself seriously, is this feeling a mirage or is my relationship just an epiphany...?

A new beginning or a beginning to the end?

Funny thing is how you can feel one way, one day, and then the next week or so something can alter or change your entire view. It is incredible how people are easily influenced and then when something terrible happens we take flight. Is it possible to maintain a successful long distance relationship? This is a question that I am posing to you and I hope to garner some interesting responses. When I embarked on this little experiment, I thought hands down that I would be able to prove my theory correct. I was thrown a loop when Lamaris responded to my email. Lamaris is everything that I had been looking for in a partner. Lamaris is intelligent, good looking, optimistic, a motivator and gainfully employed (LOL). I thought well I definitely am lucky to have something as wonderful as this just fall in my lap. This dream was true until we met. After meeting, it became a double edge sword. I hopelessly thought that this meeting combined with our daily contacts would solve all of my problems. I said to myself, you can handle this. This can work. Ironically, the lonely days and nights are becoming longer. The long phone calls and multiple emails are becoming mundane and repetitive. At night, I wake up and call him just to make sure that he answers the phone. This in some pathetic way feels like a little rainbow of security. Last night, I woke up with a bad dream and sadly, there were no arms to hold me close. I am now stuck with the question of whether I am really attracted to him or just the distance? Is the distance playing tricks with my mind? Is this a new beginning or a beginning to the end?

Romance may be still alive.....

I recently met a guy on line that has change my view of romance in the cyber age....We have establish a certain form of intimacy on-line and I am unable to explain it...It started off as most cyber romance's do...I met him while posting on a website....We argued over pertinent topics and he sent me a private message. We introduce ourselves and initiated conversation...This turn into more frequent interactions and we exchange phone numbers. Phone calls turn into multiple emails, numerous texts and all night phone conversations. Then we decided to send pictures. Of course, both of us sent high school pictures that were not truly accurate. After several weeks of this, we decided to meet...There were shy glances, awkward interactions and a lot of intimacy..... We went on tours of the city, romantic dinners and late night dancing. We wound up the weekend with a blanket picnic on the beach. This limited interaction has enhanced our phone conversations and has made it extremely difficult because of the distance...And yes, I said distance. He lives about 13 hours from me. Now we have begun to write poems and we both have discovered that we have a special skill for expressing ourselves through words...So what do I have to say about this right now, I will keep my opinion to myself and keep you updated.....I will admit that when I laid eyes on him it was as if watching a sunrise, receiving a first kiss or close to being a natural high. Well for today and today only...Romance might be still alive.......

How sick is this really getting.....

I attempted to give this cyber romance the benefit of the doubt. After logging on to several websites it has become apparent that this is what is considered as cool in our society today...If you are not a member of myspace.com, singles.net and other dating websites than you have no real connection to the world. What I find very disheartening is why the need to create the facade of establishing love connections ,when they are promoting and exploiting sex. They garner high revenues by charging menial fees to be able to pick out briars from the rose garden. You know longer have to look at pull apart the flower to see what is inside the bud, because it is made available for your viewing pleasure. Sick is the word that I utilize too explain this phenomenon. Women and men of all racial, professional and economic backgrounds are using these sites as a cover for risky sex encounters. Perverts and sexual predators see this as a virtual playground to prey upon unsuspecting underage males and females. No commitment seems to be a popular theme song and it has not RSVP or VIP appointments. It is all live, raw and in the nude for inspection. It really affected me as a young woman to see women like me exposing their nude bodies requesting to engage in group sex and other wild encounters. The biggest issue is for romantics are that they hold fantasies in our head expecting Ms. Right or Mr. Right to magically fall from heaven or a grocery store. Why leave your love life up to chance when you really can just look at the smorgasbord and make a choice that guaranteed to cause food poisoning rapidly? The smorgasbord can fill you up temporary but can caused death if you are not careful. Therefore, I pose this question to the world. How sick is this really getting and once again where is the romance in a cyber sex age...It seems to have disappeared...

Real Romance.....A myth

I love to debate frequently on this interesting topic. This is largely due to the increase of cyber sex sites and the decrease interest in doing things the good old-fashioned way. Remember when you receive that important phone call and they asked for that special date...it gave you butterflies and gave you a sense of being sought after. Now people are sitting behind their computers with web cams waiting on pornographic images and emails. In this cyber age, men and women are displaying their bodies, private parts and souls for all to view. They have endangered the the sanctity of romance and dating. Why get to know the cow when I can look, view, and ogle the milk...And if I am willing, I can meet up for dangerous group sex and risky sex encounters with no attachments and no commitment. I posed this question all of the time: why would they want to endanger their lives and take this risk? There are many people that engage in this behavior daily and have no qualms about their activities. They are adamant about displaying and enjoying their particular sexual proclivities with no shame. Whatever happened to you getting to know a person, establishing a relationship, dating exclusively and then jumping in...Well let me tell you...Flingles.net and other similar dating websites has become forums for prostitution, degradation, and dangerous sexual encounters...it has become a door for sexual perverts to indulge in their sick fantasies. Is romance in danger of becoming extinct? Where is Romance in this Cyber age...it is gone and forgotten.....